Center Stage
by JustJym
Summary: Thoughts plague Oswald's mind, leading him to a minor anxiety attack. He tries to keep it bottled up, but Jim knows Oswald better than he thinks he does. Part 1 of the 30 Day NSFW Challenge... Cuddles (Naked)


**Center Stage**

' _Things like this shouldn't hurt anymore_ ,' Oswald thought to himself, trudging home in the rain, dragging his feet through puddles. He kept the handle of his umbrella tight in his grip, however his wrist was slack and a stray drop would find it's way in. Not that he could bother to care. ' _I'm an adult with someone who loves me. Things like this shouldn't matter to me anymore_.'

He stopped in front of his apartment building that he shared with Jim, glancing up at the tall structure, his heart buried deep in his throat, pain stinging his eyes. The chilling rain hid most of his physical aches from the view of the public, but like his adolescence, he could have been crying on a stage and no one would notice. He tightened his grip until his knuckles were white and fingers numb from blood loss and the cold, fighting back his tears as he entered the building by key.

He passed a few of the tenants checking their mailboxes, feet heavy and dragging up the stairs, three flights until his room. His elderly neighbor from across the hall smiled and waved at him, causing him to force a smile for her. He pushed inside, locking the door behind him, dumping his umbrella and backpack against the wall.

Glancing at the table next to the door, he spotted Jim's badge, keys, and wallet; the gun hidden in the bedroom. He heard water running in the kitchen, knowing Jim was probably washing dishes. He kicked off his shoes and started for the fridge. "Oswald, that you?" Jim called from the kitchen, looking around to see the young college student opening the fridge, pulling out a beer and tearing the cap off with this hand. He knocked back the beer, slamming the now empty bottle on the counter, reaching for a second.

"Rough day, huh?" Jim asked, rinsing off a plate.

Oswald didn't answer, just finishing the second beer with another slam and going back for a third.

"Woah, woah, whoa!" Jim nearly shouted, pulling away from the sink and taking the beer from Oswald. "I think you should calm down."

"I don't care!" Oswald snapped, arms stretched out for the bottle, Jim's arm coming up to block him the other holding the beer reaching up and back to keep it away. "Just give me that damn bottle!"

"Oswald, stop it! You're too young for this stuff anyway," the cop replied, struggling to keep the kid away. With a shove from the student, the beer slipped from Jim's wet hand, crashing on the ground, glass shattering everywhere with alcohol stink in the air. The two men stopped, Oswald seemingly having snapped from a trance.

"Jim... I. I-I'm sorry," Oswald stuttered, apologizing, fear and hurt in his eyes.

Jim sighed and went to the cabinet for a towel, falling to his knees, picking up the glass from the floor. Oswald fell to his side, helping him clean up. Jim held out a hand, "Stop. Don't worry about it."

"Jim, please," the student said, worry washed over him. The cop kept his eyes stern and mouth pressed into a thin line. "I'm sorry, Jim. I'm...I'm sorry."

Jim furrowed his brows, catching on to Oswald's emotions in more detail. "Something happened today," Jim stated, their eyes locking, the younger's in shock.

"It was just a stressful day. I had two tests, I just needed something to take the edge off," Oswald said, looking around.

"You're lying," Jim said firmly.

Oswald pulled his head back into his shoulders, staring at the ground. A hand pressed to his cheek a few moments later. Oswald glanced at the grey-blue eyes, swallowing hard under Jim's gaze. "You're soaked. Go get a shower before you get sick."

Oswald waited a minute before moving, face warmed by the cop's hand. He nodded slowly and stood up, heading for the bathroom. He closed the door and started the water, not even bothering to turn the cold water on. Steam filled the room as he tried to find motivation to take his clothes off. He hated showing weakness to those close to him. People on the street wouldn't give him a second glance even if he were the mayor, but those he spoke to often, he had a face to keep up. The persona he'd developed for himself was smart, proper, respectable, and could take a hit in a multitude of senses. But the raw inside that was Oswald was cold, sensitive, and needy.

His anger had come out trying to keep that persona kept up with, and Jim caught on immediately. Jim always notices when he slips up. He's a cop, of course he would notice things like that. Oswald just hated it when people saw his inner self. He'd shown Jim once before, when they had finally ceased the dance they made around each other and came together as one. There was no one he'd rather be with. He wanted to be a strong partner next to a strong partner, but he couldn't be that person in a state like this; so sensitive and raw.

He found the energy to shed his clothes, nearly forgetting his socks, piling them on the floor rather than in the laundry basket. Sliding his feet across the tiles and stepping into the tub. His skin burned from the scorching hot water, feeling like it would blister, reaching for the knobs and adjusting them to suit his comforts. He stood under the spray, head hug low as his hands came up to loosely hold himself. He allowed the privacy surround him, allowing him to break open the inside that was Oswald. Tears streamed down his cheeks, face scrunching up in the wet pain that was his damaged heart. He considered himself a strong person, but even a stone wall will fall if he kicked it long enough.

He wanted to be held, someone to coddle him, and tell him everything was going to be okay. He wanted Jim to come to the rescue, but he wouldn't dare show this side to him again. He stared at the tiled wall, trying to let out all his pain before Jim noticed he was hurting. He let the tears fall, ears and nose burning, eyes strained. He had to have been standing there without moving for nearly ten minutes, much longer than his usual showers. He preferred baths so he could relax, but if Jim heard him sobbing, he didn't want to have to explain himself. His woeful groans were muffled by the spray of the shower; or so he thought.

He heard the shower curtain's plastic ruffle behind him, his eyes opening wide, body freezing in shock. A few brief moments later, two large arms wrapped around him, a warm body conforming to his back, a nose pressing into his shoulder. The arms covered his chest, keeping his own arms at his sides. He turned his head, seeing Jim looking up at him from the shoulder.

Oswald felt his brows furrow as more tears forced their way out of his eyes. He couldn't help but let them fall, Jim's presence somehow overwhelming for him in his current state. He let Jim hold him through his tears, soft kisses pressed into his shoulder and neck. When the crying let up, Jim pulled back and started to wash Oswald's hair, noting his expression was blank, eyes staring into nothing, a rag-doll in the cop's hands. He was gentle with his ministrations, moving to a quick body wash by hand rather than with a cloth.

He carefully maneuvered Oswald around, letting shower rinse him with it's now cold spray. He shut the water off and opened the curtain, grabbing for a towel to wrap the student up and dry him off. Oswald glanced over, noting that Jim had left his clothes on. Tank top sticking to his skin, jeans and socks soaked. "Your clothes," Oswald said in a low, near in-audible whisper.

"Forget about them," the cop replied just as softly. He continued to rub Oswald down, all the way down to his feet and between his toes. He raised back up when he was satisfied that Oswald was dry. He wrapped the towel around his shoulders and said, "C'mon. Let's get you to bed."

Oswald took slow steps, Jim's observation telling him he barely had the energy for that. The cop knelt down and scooped him up, cradling him in his arms. Oswald fell into Jim's chest, eyes half-lidded and mind lost in a numb daze. Into the bedroom they went, Jim laying him down on his side of the bed. As he started to pull away, he felt Oswald's hands in his shirt, keeping him close. Jim looked him over, the vulnerability wasn't becoming of the younger man, his primal, alpha male wanting to protect him. He quickly shed his clothes, taking the towel to dry his damp skin.

Jim stripped until he was bare and crawled into the bed with Oswald. He pulled the younger into his arms, facing each other. He had an arm tucked under Oswald's head, other arm over his ribs and holding his back, their legs tangling together. They were pressed close enough that if they pushed any further, they would have to fuse and occupy the same space. Jim rested his chin atop Oswald's head, hands rubbing his skin after he pulled the blanket over them.

Oswald's hands were tucked away in Jim's chest, fingers playing with the light dusting of hair there. He was focused on the skin in front of him rather than on the darkness in his mind. "You don't have to if you don't want to," Jim started, "But I'm here is you want to talk about it."

"It's childish," Oswald spoke quickly, almost cutting Jim off.

"Not if it's making you feel this terrible," the cop added, a hand coming up to stroke Oswald's hair.

Oswald shook his head. "I can't explain why it bothers me so much."

Jim could hear the fought off sob in Oswald's throat, wishing he could make it a little easier. "Then just tell me. Don't worry about how stupid it sounds. Don't let this get any worse than it is."

Oswald waited a few moments before saying anything, hands still playing with Jim's chest. "It started around my third class, my knee was starting to act up pretty badly and was limping more than usual. And this group of guys I pass everyday started laughing at me, calling me a 'penguin.' I know I walk funny now, I don't need to be reminded." Oswald's voice was tight and angered at the last sentence. After a moment to breathe he continued. "They followed me for a little bit, from a distance, but I could hear them. About how I walk, how I look, my name. This... this is stupid."

Oswald started to push away from Jim as his eyes started to sting again. Jim held him tightly with strong arms, "No, no it's okay. It's not stupid. It's bothering you to the point that you're not you. So please," Jim placed a hand on Oswald's chin, raising his gaze up to lock eyes. "Don't keep me out."

Oswald searched Jim's eyes and let a few stray tears fall, but kept his face. "I kept thinking about, through my tests, that I'm pretty sure I failed. I know it's not something that should bother me but it does. It brings up my past. I've always been picked on by something, no matter what it was. And those little things build up, higher and higher until it falls over and crushes you under the weight of your esteem. To the point that once all the bullies are done and you can finally get on with your life you can't because you're tormented by the past and any tiny threat made to you brings all those memories back in a flood and I just can't take it anymore!" Oswald had become long winded at the end, his wording getting faster until he was shouting.

Jim held him as the water works started all over again. He stroked his hair and shushed him, kissing him on top of his head and waiting for him to calm down and get his demons out. Jim tried to rationalize what was bothering Oswald, but it came down to the simplest thing. Oswald still hadn't recovered from the bullying he faced when he was a kid. His self-esteem wasn't as good as he always let on it to be. He needed reassurance that he isn't just the punching bag everyone sees him as. It would take a long time to establish the confidence Oswald deserved but Jim promised him and himself that he would make things better.

He wasn't sure what he should say, but kept him close. He just held him until he got it all out. "I told you it was stupid."

"Would you stop," Jim snapped, a hand coming to Oswald's shoulder and pushing his back to the bed, raising over him. "You're in pain, Oswald. I can see that. Even if it is small or trivial or whatever, it's still enough to take the life out of you. The smile you give me when you come home. You didn't come tell me how you outsmarted someone in class or wanting to celebrate for passing a test. If this is something that changes who you are completely, I want to know what it is." Jim looked down and grabbed one of Oswald's hands, bringing it to his lips and kissed the knuckles. "Whatever it is, I want to know. So that maybe I can't figure out how to help you. I'm not good with this stuff but I'll do whatever I can to help you. I promise."

Oswald's eyes were wide for Jim's speech, eyebrows furrowing upward as the emotion started to sweep over him again. He hated being so soft. "James," he sighed roughly, happy tears welling up.

Jim leaned down and kissed the younger man, kissing him softly and lovingly. "Besides," Jim started, a hand rubbing down Oswald's chest, over his belly, then across the sharp hipbone, and under his thigh. "If you ever need any stress relieved, or if you're just not feeling sexy enough, I have easy ways to help with that."

Oswald smiled, that small shy smile, freckles popping out from under the blush on his cheeks and nose. He raised a hand and rest it on the back of Jim's neck, pulling him down for a quick peck. "Thank you, James," Oswald thanked, still smiling with exhausted enthusiasm.

"C'mon," Jim said, resting their foreheads together, "Let's get some sleep."

Oswald turned his back to Jim and the cop wrapped a protective arm around him, nuzzling his dark hair and kissing his head. The cop laid with Oswald, trying to think of something that would make him and his young lover feel any better. When an idea popped in his head, he smiled to himself and pulled the younger man closer, ready to take on a new day.

 **– –**

"Jim, I don't believe this is completely necessary," Oswald said, limping along with his umbrella keeping him balanced.

"This is perfectly necessary," Jim replied, walking closely beside him.

Oswald was on his way to his next class, around the time that he passes the group of teenagers that picked on him. Jim made sure to keep his eye out and on Oswald. When a group of three young students, all male, came into view, Jim checked Oswald's face for any change. His assumption had been correct that these three were the targets, all he had to do was wait for them to make a move.

"Hey, check it out, it's the penguin," one of the three said, getting his buddies attention.

Oswald stopped in his tracks at the call and shook his head, choosing to ignore them and keep walking. Jim stayed with him, passing the young adults, trying not to look at them.

"M'rak m'rka m'rak m'rak," one imitated an overweight character from an old Batman movie.

Jim felt a vain pop out on his forehead, still waiting for the right moment.

"Oooh, brought his boyfriend with him too! Told you guys he was queer!"

That was the last straw. Jim pulled from Oswald, marching up to the kids without a second thought. "Jim, wait," Oswald called out, but his voice was useless to a man on a mission.

The kids were laughing hysterically, one walking like a penguin rather than mocking Oswald's walk. "Hey!" Jim shouted roughly, his face angry. The teens looked at him, still laughing. "You need to leave him alone."

"Or what?" the head of the group asked with a smart tone, trying to act tough.

Jim pulled his fist back, launching it into the kids face, breaking his nose. The other two came at him, arms raised. One swung at him, Jim ducking and punching him in the gut. The third came up behind him jumping onto Jim's back. Jim reached his arms back, grabbing the kids shirt and pulling hard, flipping the kid onto the ground, rolling him onto his stomach and twisting his arm behind his back, the kid shouting in pain.

"Like I said," Jim spat, leaning down to the kids ear. "Leave Oswald alone, or you'll see me again. And next time, it won't be as nice of a visit as this one."

Jim shoved off the kid, fixed his jacket and heading back to Oswald. The younger man was in shock, eyes wide and mouth agape. "Jim, why did you..."

"Don't worry about it," Jim smiled at him, kissing the end of his pointed nose. He put an arm around Oswald's shoulders and lead him on, "C'mon, let's get you to class. You've got a test to make up."

"But what if someone finds out you're a cop?" Oswald asked, trying to keep up with Jim's pace.

Jim smiled at him, "Forgot my badge and wallet at home."

Oswald felt a warmth wash over him, a smile spreading across his face. He pressed his head against Jim's chest as they walked a little slower, pulling him a little closer. "Thank you, Jim."

"Anything for you, Oswald."

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